Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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