guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
