Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
