I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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