Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It's shark week go big or go home
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
