i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize
