i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
