so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
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