I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
