Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
