I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
