I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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