Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
