watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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