hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
