I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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