Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
