I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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