Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
