you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
