Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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