Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
