I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
