I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
