i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
