I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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