I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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