that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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