so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
