i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
