I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
