at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
