I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
