Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
