he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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