Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
