Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize