The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
