The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
