He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
