We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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