Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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