i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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