i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
