my text book just quoted the cookie monster
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
