I'll bet she douches with gravy.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
