meet me or not, i'm out of control
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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