We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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