but the lizard people decide everything anyway
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
