shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
as a side note pls kill me
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
