If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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